Creative & DIY
SO THAT’S HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT
(Source: v.pinimg.com, via clonecaptains)
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#sam mendes said fuck toxic masculinity and made 007 an emotionally brittle powerbottom
Reblogging because that comment is fucking gold 😂😂😂
(via timetodisco)
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Ok so how tf do we resuscitate Sinatra so he can come back to life and finish what he started??
(via dondaario)
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kat graham x tvd boys :)
gifs are mine
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I can’t believe there are people who don’t hear “The Spanish Flu” and immediately think “that’s what killed Edward Cullen”
(via hungoverunicorn1996)
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dont ask me what tf im talking about. i dont know ok? im just the vessel. the message has been gifted. i‘ve moved on
Me after being asked to repeat my McDonald’s order
(via cheapandqueazy)
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Sometimes I forget that I really am pretty weird and my experiences are fairly far afield from “normal.”
This girl who I vaguely knew from the coffee shop showed up one day and said she thought her mom had died that morning and I figured she was probably overreacting so I said I’d go check with her and it turns out her mom HAD died but we honestly weren’t sure when it had happened so I lifted her off the bed and attempted CPR and then ended up having to talk to cops and this poor girl’s family for HOURS as she called her dad and brothers and the cops wanted to know if the mom was on any medications or if she had been depressed and I was like “I have no idea, I had literally never met the lady and I don’t even know the family’s last name, the first ever full conversation I had with the daughter was this morning.” And apparently THAT was super suspicious or something.
So anyway that was a rough day and the next day I go into the coffee shop and the manager (who is basically never in) comes over and says “Debbie says you had a rough day yesterday.” And I was like “uh, yeah. It was pretty weird.” And then he was like “Debbie says that you handled it really well. And that you filled out an application to work here a couple weeks ago.” And I was like “I guess?” And he was like “Okay you can do a training shift today and you’re on your own tomorrow. We don’t normally hire people under 21 and we don’t normally hire regulars so don’t fuck up.” (I was 18)
So I started working at the cash-only coffee shop that was patronized exclusively by the weirdest people in town (who had all slept with each other, had no money, and had the most drama of any group I’ve ever been part of) and was used to launder money made by the owner’s cocaine sales for the local gang.
The first shift I worked alone was the next night and when I called the manager and told him one of the regulars had been chasing people out of the parking lot to sell meth the manager told me to ban him so I was like “Hey dude, manager says you’re banned” and he was like “You’re a fucking cunt and I’m going to wait until you’re alone and I’m gonna fucking kill you” and then he drove around the block about twenty times and screamed “cunt” out the window every time he passed by where I was cleaning the patio.
One of the regulars, who was a nearly-seven-foot-tall hacker and gunsmith who worked graveyard in Hollywood, waited around for me to finish closing and then offered to drive me home because otherwise I’d have to walk three miles alone and there was that whole “circling meth dealer” thing going on. I decided to take a chance on getting a ride from tall, dark, and scary and that paid off pretty well because it’s been fifteen years and I’ve been married to that tall weirdo since 2011.
And that’s how I got my first non-porn job.
Just about every paragraph I was going “Okay, that’s pretty weird, but surely this is as weird as the story gets” and I was Mistaken.
(via cozcat)
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Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits.
Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses.
Poseidon: It should be aquatic.I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this?
Everyone: Australia.Reblogging for that last exchange.
I love that
(via teenagerposts)
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View high resolution
unabashedlysporadickryptonite:
Additionally, inheritance laws especially in English law used to be very strict about what wives and daughters could receive. Most of the property when a person died would go to a male heir even if that person left a wife or older daughter. This could even include the very house a woman was living in when her husband died. Cue Jane Austen and other writers of this era who discuss problems of women’s legal dependence. At certain times women could not hold land, houses, or bank accounts but they could take more personal property like jewelry or dresses. Women had to be conscious of the value of their clothing and jewelry because it could someday mean the difference between penniless or able to afford a place to live after your husband or father died.
(via hungoverunicorn1996)
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Today is April the 17th of 2020
It’s really warm outside, for the month of April, and I’m lucky enough to have a balcony on which I can get some fresh air.
We’re in quarantine since march, and I still work as a seller in a bakery. My hours have considerably reduced but they still find a way to get me there almost everyday. We have divided our clients by 5 and yet I’m still exhausted when I come home. I’m exhausted knowing both my kid and partner are at risk because of me and the people who come buying their daily baguette.
I feel mostly resentment for the people who come everyday for this and who don’t even care that we’re at risk for their own little comfort. Most of the people who come are grumpy about the situation and clearly can’t stay home for their own safety. They’re clearly disappointed to see that our range is reduced during this testing time, they come and feel like we owe them what they want. But that’s the point, it’s just what they want not what they need. Except for bread our products aren’t necessities, they’re a luxury. Feel lucky to even have any Pain au chocolat, croissant, muffin or donuts at all. You don’t need them to survive. They’re here for pleasure. And the worst of them all, the ones who clearly see the bread but don’t came here for that but for patisseries. Just fuck yourself. You put me and my coworkers at risk, and for what ? Your own glutonny.
My son, almost 6, as every kid, needs to get some fresh air, yet he understands better than most adults that we need to stay put, and not go outside to not risk other people life. So today, we enjoy a little bit of outside time on our balcony. I know he dreams to go to the park, or to the beach, or to class. He just wants the company of his friends. He’s very demanding, he puts tv on and just plays next to it without watching it because he needs the noise.
I don’t fully understand all his shenanigans and what he wants me to do and play with him. I’m not very good at pursuing school at home; I’m no teacher, and neither of us have an extended amount of patience. So when he’s bored and not following instructions, we just stop the activity because I want this testing time to remain a time where our family keeps its sanity. But my kid has always always wanted to get outside. From the early stages of his life I’ve always made the effort to go outside because we don’t have a garden and he needs his exercise to feel fulfilled. I enjoy watching play with other kids from afar, reading my book, listening to music, or as of today, writing a blog post on my computer, thing I haven’t done in years.
I just want to be able to reflect on this time in the years to come if I’m able to.
For me, quarantine isn’t a sacrifice. I already enjoyed staying home, and my computer has been my life since I had one 12 years ago. For almost half of my life I’ve had internet presence and I always enjoyed the online life. I’ve never much participated with my own words and voice, mostly reposting stuff that I find are really cool, making my own little corner of the internet that I enjoy. It’s been an escape for the sucky stuff life has thrown at me. 10 years ago my father was giving me 20 bucks on weekends to go outside with my friends and enjoy some icecream with them. I did not really want that. I wanted to watch my shows on my computer, talking with my friends via skype but did not enjoy going out much. During the summer though, I was a party animal, drinking, going out, enjoying quality time with my cousin.
But really, coming back home shitfaced, not remembering what I had done the previous night, isn’t really fun. And the hangover… well, it hangs over, and following a great party always was guilt.
Now I’m enjoying home time, my shows, maybe a glass of alcohool from time to time. But not going out much. Sometimes I want to go out and I remember it’s not me. I wake up early in the morning, take care of my child. I need my early nights. If you want to get social with me, well, do it during the day. Oh yes, when all of us have jobs to do, work to go to, classes to attend, appointments etc.
This quarantine time, I may have had my parents on the phone 3 times, and had a small phone conversation with one mum friend from school. Other than that… I haven’t spoken to anyone. Maybe because i don’t put the effort in. Partly because I’m watching Lucifer on repeat. Our mere mortal life seems really shitty next to tv shows who have much bigger problems than us but yet feels like family. I chose my tv shows and fandoms.
I have interesting conversations with my son, not so much with his father. And to keep my health I prefer to read my books and watch my tv shows.
I will not say I don’t miss my friends, because I do, but I already had looooong stretch of time without seeing them, social media keeps me updated. But I’m used to it. Our work schedules are never compatible, there’s always something coming up to blow our plans so when we see each other it’s like 4 leaf clove. We’re lucky if it happens once or twice a year.
Today we’re thursday, april 17th, the year is 2020 and that’s what’s been on my mind.
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